Alex writes about exactly what you would expect him to write about this week: Watch The Throne.

I will never understand why somebody, namely me, really feels compelled to do anything, such as seeing the Fright Night remake despite knowing I won’t like the movie. I know advertising creates this compulsion by reminding me that Colin Farrell is the star of this movie, and that he’ll probably ham it up. But I don’t like the idea of that much of my life being dictated by advertising simply because it’s what is around me, despite this being an inarguable truth. And this compulsion is present when I go see these movies. Or order Pizza Hut as I’m sitting down to watch football. Or write about Kanye West.

How this never become a bigger meme is perplexing to me.

Kanye’s been everywhere recently, be it through saying people look at him like he’s Hitler or falling onstage, and I have spent an uncomfortable amount of time thinking about him and his music over the last few weeks. I recently wrote thousands of mostly meaningless words about Kanye West’s music and iconography; I’m still at least kind of upset at how bad that post was. I was probably just excited about the prospect of some new Kanye (again, I will be referring to him by his first name because it feels wrong not to). And that’s another feeling I will never understand: I wasn’t really inspired to write about Kanye, but I did anyway. I just kind of felt like I should, so I did. I had a general point that I wanted to make, but it was admittedly weak, which made the whole thing unnecessary. But thinking about my lack of a real reason to write about Kanye, other than the fact that he has a new album coming out, has made me realize that I also don’t really know why anybody ever feels inspired to write or do anything.

Jay-Z and Kanye’s joint album, Watch The Throne, came out at midnight this past Monday – or Sunday, depending on how you value the Gregorian calendar – and I listened to it that night. My feelings on the record are almost unnecessary (not that anybody’s opinions on pop music are ever necessary), as my opinion was essentially pre-determined. As reactions to the record continue to spill out, everybody seems to feel exactly how you would expect them to. If the person in question already liked Kanye and Jay-Z, they liked the record and might have an unhealthy obsession with defending its weaker moments. If this person already hated both artists, then they hated the record, saying “Jay-Z pronounced aqua weird*” or “They just talk about Maybachs on ‘Bachs on ‘Bachs**.” If one was ambivalent or disliked Jay-Z beforehand, but liked Kanye, they will call Watch The Throne a Kanye party that Jay-Z just happened to crash in order to periodically un-spike the punch. Jay-Z detractors will say his lyrics are boring and repetitive, and Kanye non-fans will say the same, or say that the album is just an unreasonable musical clusterfuck. The question about the record always boils down to whether or not the work felt inspired, or if one of the rappers felt inspired and the other didn’t. But everybody discussing the album seems to just feel compelled to repeat what they probably would have already said anyway.

* This is a slight exaggeration. I realize most people are conscious of the
fact that he’s saying ‘water’ in Spanish. That being said, it’s still stupid.
**They talk about Bentleys too, you know.

Now, of course, there is a level of objective shittiness that the album could have been that would have forced everybody to hate it. If Jay-Z decided to record his vocals standing atop the Empire State Building, I’m sure all the wind on the vocal tracks would have been annoying. Had Kanye wanted to sample Paul Anka’s recording of Mandy and bring Ethan Embry in to sing the hook, I don’t think it would have worked. But then again, I’m the same person who worried that the dubstep song on Watch The Throne would be unlistenable. Who knows, I might have enjoyed a windy Jay-Z verse about his dog leading into a chorus sung by Mark from Empire Records. But even the most ardent Kanye and Jay-Z fans will be able to admit it when they eventually make something truly terrible*. Which means that, at worst, Watch The Throne is mediocre.

*Jay-Z’s list of awfulness needs its own post, but Kanye has his fair share as well. 

Dropping soon: Mandy '11 (feat. Ethan Embry)

It’s not mediocre, though. It’s actually pretty fucking good, and it’s even stellar at times. The James Brown and Incredible Bongo Band samples on That’s My Bitch continue to get me so excited that I want to put my fist through a wall*, and it seems like nobody can deny that Why I Love You is an incredible beat, likely because it is only one teenage whisper-monologue away from sounding like M83 decided to start producing hip-hop**. The more epic tracks are musically great, but the thing that holds them back is how odd Jay-Z feels on the grander songs. Kanye might be the most energetic person alive, and accordingly feels right on the grand production, but Jay-Z tends to prefer to rap in a laid-back manner, which detracts from songs like Who Gon’ Stop Me and That’s My Bitch. However, on higher energy tracks that give him room to breathe (Welcome to the Jungle, Ni**as in Paris), we only feel uncomfortable when hearing some of his cornier lyrics.

*Kanye and Q-Tip, you owe me drywall money.
**Or it just sounds like it’s produced by Cassius, I suppose.

Musically, the album is pretty great. Half of the tracks sound like they were produced when Kanye and company were visiting The Grid in TRON, and the others – despite sounding like they were recorded in an actual recording studio – are mostly good. Only Made in America is a complete miss musically, although Lift Off is also significantly less than stellar as well. Lyrically, though? Both rappers have been much better elsewhere, and the catchy couplets that make Jay-Z as good as he is are mostly absent here. On first, second, and twenty-sixth listen, the record sounds like more time was spent on music than lyrics, and I suppose that’s fine. There are still lyrical highlights, they’re just swept under the rug by a surprising amount of awkwardness. This is likely due to the fact that there aren’t a lot of verses where the two rappers aren’t teaming up in some way, something that not a lot of modern rappers have much experience doing. The verses where they don’t have to lead into each other, such as Jay-Z’s verse on No Church in the Wild or Kanye’s on New Day, are often the most interesting lyrically, because they are back in the comfort zone of a solitary rapper starting an idea and finishing it in 16 bars. But that tag team aspect that is present throughout is also kind of the whole charm of the record.

Hearing rappers go back and forth on a verse, like Kanye and Jay-Z do throughout Watch The Throne, will always make me smile. It’s probably just the Run-DMC fan in me, but this type of thing really doesn’t exist in popular hip-hop anymore outside of the Beastie Boys. And the fact that MCA, Ad Rock and Mike D have been around since before Scottie Pippen started playing NBA ball basically proves my point. With hip-hop’s unofficial 38th birthday occurring yesterday, Watch The Throne looks back to where hip-hop came from (while referencing classic Mobb Deep, Audio Two and OutKast songs and sampling hip-hop staples Nina Simone, Otis Redding, James Brown, and more), and Kanye and Jay-Z often use this style to rap back and forth to each other about paintings and cars they’ve purchased. While popular hip-hop has always been at least kind of materialistic, it’s inarguable that it has gotten more so, mostly because there are simply more profits to be made from hip-hop now. Kanye and Jay-Z’s idea to do a joint record may have been inspired by the hip-hop they grew up listening to, but they still felt compelled to reflect what is most prevalent in modern hip-hop. And, in turn, their new record reflects what we already felt about them. Like I said a week or so ago, Kanye is modern popular hip-hop, and so is Jay-Z. There might be things you like about them and things you don’t, but your opinion of their work will always say more about your relationship with hip-hop than it will anything else. Which is exactly what Watch The Throne says about Kanye West and Jay-Z themselves.